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“Where’s Daddy going?”

“Quiet. Mommy’s busy.” The harsh rake of a metal zipper closing. The girl carefully lays her bear on the bed covers, then picks him up again.

“When will he be back?”

“When he’s finished.”

“Finished what?”

“Finished doing what he’s doing.”

“What is he doing?” Her mother pulls the curtains, shutting out the dull, feeble light of the muted sun.

“So many damn questions.” The squeak of the springs as she lifts the heavy suitcase off of the sagging mattress.

“Will he be back for my birthday?” The timid voice questions.

“No.”

“No? But he said he would get me a bike, a blue one, we saw it in the window and he said I could have it for my birthd-”

“No. He won’t be back for your birthday.”

“I’m getting old, aren’t I mommy?” she asks proudly.

“Old? Hell, you’re only six.” A raspy laugh, a smoker’s laugh.

“Seven. Is that old? Are you old?”

“I’m old. I’m real old.” She places her hand in the small of her back and grimaces.

“How old?”

“Too old.”

“How old is too old?”

“Listen, will you just shut your mouth? I’ve got a headache.”

“Sorry.” She gazes at the floor, at the shiny Mary-Janes that are too small on her feet. “When will Daddy come home?”

“I told you, he’ll come home when he’s done. He’ll come home when he’s served his time at the penitentiary.”

“Serving? Like Cinderella?” That raspy laugh again.

“Yeah, Cinderdaddy and his singing mice.”

“Will there be mice?”

“No. No mice.”

“Oh. What’s a pentilenchery?”

“Penitentiary. It’s a jail, kid.”

“Jail? Why is he going there?”

“Why do I even send you to school?” she is quiet for a moment. A windchime sends its empty, lonely call through the morning’s thin air. “He’s going there because he did something against the law.”

“What? What did he do?”

“Too many questions.” The girl is silent, waiting. “He had weed in his car. And he was smoking it while he was driving.”

“Weeds? Like dandelions?”

“Too many questions,” she repeats. Taking the girl’s hand, she opens the door and hauls her through. “Can’t you go anywhere without that stupid bear?”

“Kitty?” The girl asks, surprised.

“Yeah, your bear. You’re so stupid you even named it after the wrong animal.” That laugh, like sandpaper.

“Kitty would be lonely without me.”

She shrugs, looking disgusted. “Run on out to the car. Mommy’s gonna lock the house.” Her feet crunch on the gravel, and Kitty dangles from her hand by one leg, swinging back and forth.

The air is cool and the wind whips the dead leaves into a frenzied dance. She looks up at the sky. It is the color of dishwater, and she can’t see the sun.

The engine turns over a few times before the car finally starts, giving a roar like some prehistoric beast.

“Where’s the chenipentally?”

“What?”

“The jail, where Daddy is.”

“Oh, the penitentiary. It’s up in Springfield.”

“Far away?”

“About a half an hour.”

“Will we visit him?”

“Visit him? If you want to drive.” The girl looks puzzled by this.

“Can I?” She asks doubtfully.

“No! You're only six.”

“Oh,” she says, not bothering to correct her. She presses her face against the window, and it fogs up with her breath. She draws an awkward little heart with her stubby forefinger in the mist. The sky is a sheet of gray, unbroken clouds.

“Mommy, where’s the sun?” Her mother laughs. Krckack, krckack, krckack, wheeze.

“Honey, I haven’t seen it for fifteen years.”
jus a lil story. .__.

EDIT: Holy cow! I didn't know everyone would like it so much! Here is the AWESOME fanart I've gotten for this story, thank you so much!:

[link]
[link]
[link]

EDIT2:

WOW! Featured by *DailyLitDeviations! Thank you guys so much! See the News article here: [link]

EDIT3: Wow! I've been featured in the Deviant Choice Awards! Thank you so much! [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconoreo411:
Oreo411 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
It's really sweet and sad at the same time! I love it!! :'D
Reply
:icononcelerluver:
oncelerluver Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2012  Student Artist
wow thats amazing i could never write like that.
Reply
:icondaphneeeee:
Daphneeeee Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2012
woahh that's so beautiful and sad at the same time!i can totally picture every seen as it happens right in front of me.also it doesn't make me tired.
Reply
:iconkrys98:
krys98 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, I've been to Springfield (in Missouri, right?)! BTW love the story. SO SAD!
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I used "Springfield" because there's a Springfield in like...almost every state. XD I grew up in Springfield, VA. Thanks!
Reply
:iconkrys98:
krys98 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay, I get it! Good idea!
Reply
:iconbee97:
bee97 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
WOW. That was.... wow.
Reply
:iconbookwormmk:
BookWormMK Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. This is fantastic I'll NEVER be able to reach this kind of emotion
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw, don't talk like that! You can do anything you set your mind to. Except like...levitate, probably.
Reply
:iconbookwormmk:
BookWormMK Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, levitating is easy. Writing is hard. My problem is a wierd one- words, to me, have different meanings than just words. When I think of a word it's colors and tastes and a kind of nudge, all diferent and unconnected. It's hard to write when the word happy is green and blue and orange, somewhere behind my nose and smells like kerosene.
Wow, I've never really shared this. It's nice to get it out.
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Synesthesia! That's amazing! It's actually pretty common, about one in 23 people have some level of it (although yours sounds pretty strong.) It sounds like it presents a big obstacle for you, but I have faith that you can work past it or around it or even with it and create things that are beautiful anyway. C:
Reply
:iconbookwormmk:
BookWormMK Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
Reply
:iconnatalievee:
natalievee Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
You know what would be even more sad and depressing? If the mom drives the car into a river or something and you know, commits suicide with her daughter.
I was waiting for that and relieved to know she didn't.

Just a thought. A sad sad thought.

Amazing story though!
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
My creative writing professor has told our class that in your whole life, you get to write one suicide story, and you'd better make it a good one. ;D I agree with him - I think suicide is WAY overused as a heartwrenching finish, and I hope to never use it unless it REALLY fits in with the story. I consider it to frequently be a cop-out.
Reply
:iconkimijudo:
KimiJudo Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
This story is so... awesome yet sad at the same time.

I love it! :XD:
Reply
:iconjaswoosh:
JasWoosh Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
love it!
Reply
:iconlifegm2500:
LifeGM2500 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
i have a question: do you just write stories in your journal??
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
....my....journal? o__o No? You mean my dA journal? I never write stories in my dA journal. I use it for updates.
Reply
:iconlifegm2500:
LifeGM2500 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
oh.....
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sorry, I think I'm just confused about what you're asking me?
Reply
:iconlifegm2500:
LifeGM2500 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
never mind.
Reply
:iconimaginethatt:
imaginethatt Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2011
I love the last lines. They convey so much emotion!
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks!!
Reply
:iconrhmadhatter:
rhMadHatter Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
This is so cute! Very sad though.. But I love it!(x
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much!!!
Reply
:iconinsane-raine:
Insane-Raine Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2010  Student Writer
the kid is so innocent and sad.....It's heartbreaking even though it's short it makes a huge impact.
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much!!
Reply
:iconinsane-raine:
Insane-Raine Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2010  Student Writer
you're very welcome. thank you for writing this.
Reply
:iconchillyjilly23:
Chillyjilly23 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2010
This was amazing!
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much!! It's still one of my favorite pieces, and I wrote it years ago.
Reply
:iconchillyjilly23:
Chillyjilly23 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2010
I was browsing through one of my favorite artist's works and she had drawn something based off it. I'm glad I clicked the link and satisfied my curiousity!
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm glad you did, too! <3 Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconlostandalone12:
LostandAlone12 Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2010   Writer
Dude I'm depressed, impressed, and whatever else that rhymes with those. That was so flippin' good! :)
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much!! Whatever kind of pressed you are, at least it's an emotional reaction. XD
Reply
:iconlostandalone12:
LostandAlone12 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2010   Writer
Haha yeah, it's great!
Reply
:iconiheart645:
iheart645 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Awwww... this is so sweet. You capture the situation with the dialogue so well, yet there is still a mystery to it all. Luv the ending!
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
B'aww thank you so much~ This piece is still a particular favorite of mine. C:
Reply
:iconmissk91:
MissK91 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2009
This is beautifully written. It really conveys the mood well =] Great job =]
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconclumsyblushedgirl:
ClumsyBlushedGirl Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2009
Oh My God. Poor kiddddd. Can I adopt her or something. Cause she looks like she needs to :P
Just kidding(kinda). Lovely story. So sad and yet so right.
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it!
Reply
:iconosiristhrasher06:
Osiristhrasher06 Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2009
What a sad situation to be in. I wanted to reach out and grab the child into my arms.

This is absolutely lovely and evokes emotion so well. Great job on this.
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much! That's exactly the reaction I was going for, I'm really glad it came across.
Reply
:iconosiristhrasher06:
Osiristhrasher06 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2009
you're very welcome. :)
Reply
:iconcouramours:
Couramours Featured By Owner May 31, 2009
Nice use of visual imagery with this, the subtle flashes of each scene. Having the story be primarily dialogue was a nice feature as well. Congrats on the DLD, this is a good write. :aww:
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much! AHHH DLD! -flail- WOOO~
Reply
:iconcouramours:
Couramours Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2009
:w00t: No problem! :aww:
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner May 29, 2009
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article here: [link] .

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:iconginnabean:
Ginnabean Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
OHMAN!! 8DD Thank you so much! Bahh! This is great! HOORAY~~ -flaildanceconfetti-
Reply
:iconjulietcaesar:
julietcaesar Featured By Owner May 28, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, this was a really good story that is totally dialogue-centred. The dialogue was really appropriate for this story and conveyed character well. I also liked how you juxtaposed the innocent child with the bitter mother, their contrasting attitudes drew me into the story. I ended up sympathising with both characters, and I find myself wondering what made the mother so gloomy and negative. I also liked how you used sounds and onomatopoeia to form part of the characterisation of the mother.

While you might think it's just a little story, it's a big story in many ways than just the size of the text. :)
Reply
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